Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Rowr's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
2:13 am	Once again from the top...with feeling This will be the last entry in this journal. Anywho, these past few weeks, months....years have all blended together and hit me square in the face the other day. Most of the stuff I valued and believed in turned out to be just wrong. Well maybe not wrong....just not the way to be. I took a long look at myself yesterday, my place in life, my social situation, my financial situation..... I'm 24 years old.... I work at a retail job as an underpaid manager at $10.24 an hour. I drive a disease ridden car with the hopes of reviving another disease ridden car I'm $10k + in debt There are very few people left I would deem friends. I watch cartoons and play video games religiously I live at home I'm very overweight This doesn't paint a very pretty picture. For the past 24 years I believed that working for others, being polite, being honest, etc, etc, etc will get me ahead in life - karma if you will. I mean, my heroes are from the comic books and video games I base my life around. I idolize Batman of all other people....'a tortured soul out to protect the souls of others'. For some reason I wanted to be the same way. I've been so immature. Look where it's gotten me. I've always put friends first...before the people...person that really cared about me. When times got rough and I had to choose between them......I obviously chose wrong for which I'm sorry for. These past few years have definitely taught me that much. Never again will I be so quick to put my "friends'" needs before any else. Afterall, they would do no less...or more...for me. My 24th birthday has ensured my dedication to this....3 phone calls and 1 gift. Thanks to the one person that actually took me out for my b-day. The rest of my friends who had better things to do, to the point where they couldn't spare a 2 minute phone call or even a 10 second instant message...well....let's just say nobody burns me twice. This won't happen again. I've always had this notion of self righteousness. Especially towards how people should be when it comes to uhmm...social....relationships. One thing I refused to learn from my first love was that sex is a part of life. She definitely showed me and it hurt...alot....for the longest time I kept going after her....trying to change her, bring her back to my way of thinking.....I've always hated her for what she was, for what she does. I always thought the worst of her.....now I don't know if it was more envy, jealousy, or what....I see now that I was wrong, and I am sorry for that. This notion has definitely had it's ill effects. It's gotten to the point where I can't even talk the girls I find attractive....I don't know what to say - as the majority of my fencers won't let me live down...grumble. I feel so insecure after not having experienced anything in my life - I just don't want to make a fool of myself....I fear the rejection and the embarrassment the comes from it. Fencing had become a huge part of my life. It all started by a girl coming up to me in racquetball class at njit advertising the fencing team, practically begging me to go. I finally said ok and obviously became hooked. Two months in I was made captain....I had no clue what I was supposed to do. I was never a leader before, people never looked to me. I obviously wasn't the most skilled on the team either. Regardless, I took my role seriously. I stayed captain almost the entire way through college. It was my life and my love. I had finally found a group of people that cared for something like I did. But of course as all good things must do, it ended. The new shiny coaches had an agenda with the team. They bought store packaged fencers to bring up the school image. This immediately caused descent on the team. Namely between myself and the new sabre star who cared more for his image and record than anyone or anything else on the team...With the next season came even more store bought fencers. The team literally split down the middle. Ultimately, one side believed fencing was individually based, the other thinking it was team based. Both sides had ideas on what rules should govern the 'team'. The 'team' side resigned from the team and boycotted a meet to emphasize our point. We stood our ground for what we believed, and I was (one of) the quiet, yet steady figurehead for the team. After the boycott, the 'individual' side responded with threats....I stood my ground....I was the only one. The team that encouraged me to be captain all this time, turned their collective back to me and walked away. They rejoined the team without even asking my opinion....I was left in the dust. My one small consolation being that my last full year on the team was the only winning season in over a decade....and since my resignation, they haven't posted a winning season yet - or even show signs of doing so. And now I satisfy my fencing itch by coaching. My burning blood having slowly, but surely cooled over the years out of competition, coaching seems to be the only option left. I seem to be good at it. My fencers like me, I like my fencers. S'all good. As you can tell I always tend to dwell on the past. My time spent on that first love can be measured in years....damn near a decade. The thoughts of my fencing team always plague my mind....how the coaches ended up winning my team....how bitter I was at not getting my medal. I always talk about the good ol' days of sitting around playing video games and talking in John's room till the crack of dawn. My thoughts always tend to be of what was.....never of what is or will be.... I actually had a lot more memories to write in here..family...friends...college....but I can't seem to want to remember them...so I'll stop here for now. Now that I'm 24, this is where I should be... Out of my parents house Buying my own new car Having a respectable job Contemplating 'settling down' etc I'm no where near this place, and I need to get there fast. I've come to the realization that my childhood is over. I've missed it pretending to be bigger than what I really was. No more parties, no more summer vacations, no more fun nights at the diner. I've come to realize that my immature tendencies have to end. I have to start my life over (see entry title), I have to start living for myself and stop living for others. I've actually already started. My first step is to change my ideals. This is harder than it seems. I have to tear down that wall of stubbornness and self righteousness and rebuild myself. I have to rebuild my self esteem. I have to relearn how to live. How to choose my friends, how to spend my money, how to pick my battles. I also have to find new moral standards, social standards, and emotional standards. Everything is not going to be "ok" unless I work to make it that way. I have to wake up. I have to stop getting upset and angry when I hear stories about people sleeping together....it's just not normal to get upset about that.... This may take a long time. My second step is to actually get in shape. I'm sick of drooling over other people, I want people to start drooling over me. As funny as it sounds, and as no one seems to realize, this is the main focus of my ddr obsession. I enjoy watching myself being able to go faster and faster....getting stronger and stronger. I love building a crowd at the arcade....the people watching me, drooling over me. I'm doing this the right way this time, not starving myself on any whacked out diet plans. I want muscle. I've even taking to doing crunches and leg lifts (to work my upper and lower abs) everyday, when I wake up and before I go to sleep. And it's working. I see myself slimming down and toning up. My calves are no longer lumps of flesh, my cheeks aren't bulbous masses of fat....even my infamous backside has reduced in size. Things are going well here. My next step is to get my self settled financially. This step will be by far the most difficult. With the impending obstacle of being thrown out of the house before I'm actually ready is not helping. I've spent too much time 'volunteering' and doing things out of the kindness of my heart. It hasn't gotten me anywhere. I don't want to leave my fencers, but I have no choice. I've been trying to get teaching jobs to no avail. I've been trying to get a more lucrative retail job to no avail. My next stab is at a Kaplan teaching thing. Hopefully this works and I can start paying my bills without worry. This step is NOT going well at all. I don't know, maybe I've been half-assing it. But hopefully with this new found sense of life I can focus my energy where it should be going. And my final step is well...private. If you really wanna know, just ask me. Right now I'm beaten, battered, and broken. I have to dust myself off and try yet again..... And after pouring myself into this entry, I'm utterly drained and tired. I'm leaving this open for comments which I truly hope I get. From now on, this journal is for lurking only....It's been an interesting trip. Current Mood: melancholy (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 1st, 2005
6:55 pm	Hey remember me?? Been a long time since my last update...hmmm what to say what to say. things were going well....hit heavy mode on ddr. yay me. lost 10lbs, gained a boatload of muscle......uhm...promotion at sports authority, summer teaching gig. won a grand total of 15 stuffed animals down seaside....yay for me and brandeeeee.....all around not bad not bad.... but of course, the pendulum swings both ways..... $210 overdraft charge on my bank account.....fought for half of it back, deposited more money.....hit me with 'late fees' and other hidden crap....and now i'm fighting another overdraft. Entering depressed mode due to the fact that I have less than no money - I can't even afford to cut my hair....uhmm...complications with my promotion...still don't know how much my raise is going to be. Struggling to find time to not only get to my fencer's grad party, but to get a gift beforehand (see also above money woes).....laundry's piling up....using too many ... to write this entry.....basically entering into another rut.....bleh The end....short and sweet. Current Mood: rut-tastic (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
2:43 pm	Cutting down.... Well here's yet another attempt at dieting and money saving....I'm cutting down on going out to eat....I will content myself with playing my video games and such. This does not mean that I won't go out at all, just not to applebees or mcdonalds or the diner as much. I mean, movies are fine, ddr is always ok :), the arcade is just as good, even mall ratting it will be ok. Sigh...I wonder how long this will last.... And speaking of the diner....I am now the last diner rat....sigh. The end. Current Mood: poor. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 9th, 2005
12:20 pm	yawn... Well I'm 'teaching' atm....the class has to work on a presentation for wednesday....which means nothing for me to teach at all...so i'm bored, falling asleep, and updating this thing. Anywho, I consistently get B, A, and AA grades in ddr standard mode at 1, 1.5, 2, and 3x normal speed. Which is good :). Heavy mode here I come...Oh and I got my metal pad!! Metally goodness. No more $$$ draining away at the arcade....Although the lights on the pads are reversed and the down arrow lights are not worky...but i really dont look down while playing so no big deal i guess. Things with Brandeeeee are good...even though she confuses the hell outta me sometimes :) I've practically moved into the apartment too....bought a bigger mattress for the bedroom 0:-), toothbrush in the bathroom, and soon to be clothing space in the closet type thing (i think). Kinda weird, but it makes me happy so s'all good. too tired to think of anything else to write so i'll end it here. The End. Current Mood: and bored (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 29th, 2005
3:29 am	Update for the masses... Received my application for reappointment as the assistant fencing coach at pv in the mail today..... *cry* Current Mood: sad (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
9:10 pm	Things going well.... Things are going rather well.....Gasp?! Could this actually be a happy post?!! Is the world ending??? Anywho, I'm officially off the market :) I am now someone's property lol. Yay for that. I'm happy, she's happy, we're happy, yay :) I got my first A in ddr standard mode yesterday, woot to that :) uhm....uhmm......had fencing dinner which was good. Found out that my fencers do actually like me and want me back next year lol :) Huzzah for not being completely reviled. lol I guess that's it. A happy but short post :) The end. Current Mood: happy (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 10th, 2005
6:28 pm	funny :) So yeah, Brandee might be coming out tuesday night....So here I was thinking about what to do when she mentions..."do you have any arcades open late by you?"......arcade?? lol you wanna go to an arcade??? "yeah why not?" hehehe :) I don't know why I get along so well with someone that does things like that :) Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Friday, April 1st, 2005
12:04 am	old friends? Quick blurb while I'm still relatively interested.... I ran into Anna tonight....formerly known as Festa to me :). And this time we actually chatted for a couple mins. First time that's happened in years :) It's a shame she's been dating her cop boyfriend for like uhmm...ever cause I might've been very interested otherwise....sigh oh well :). I love running into people I know. The end. Current Mood: amused (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
11:44 pm	I did it again... Sigh....I shelled out another $40 for another DDR game.....this time DDR Extreme. The verdict?: DDR Max2 is alot more fun...so far. Not liking the song selection on Extreme...'cept neverending story :) that one i like. But yeah, so far I'm more than a lil disappointed in the game...I hope there's alot of hidden stuff, since right now it's not mentioning anything of the sort. Bah. The end. Current Mood: sweaty....ew (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
2:59 am	Not much to tell... Not much to update with....DDR has taken over my life god damnit. Minimum of like 2 hours a night....grumble. I'm well enough on Light mode so I'm thinking of making the permanent jump to standard....Gasp! Someone help me...... o0o0o0o0o0o one thing to note, these are now mine!! eBayISAPI.dll-ViewItem&item=6953171378&ssPageName=ADME-B-EOAB-US-6 My new hobby....thanks in no small part to my drooling over thecollchan's uber good sketchbook....I'm working on eyes right now....nothing but eyes. and lastly, It sucks when you close your eyes and all you see are flying arrows.....!!!! Current Mood: annoyed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 14th, 2005
10:05 pm	Dear god what have I done..... I've done the unthinkable today.....the worst thing I could've imagined myself doing. The one thing I above all else swore I would never do. I loathe myself completely for this.........I bought DDR..........................and the dance pad. I'm such a sellout. The widespread idiocy of DDR has claimed another, albeit very stubborn - but not unbreakable, soul..... Current Mood: Stupid (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
4:43 pm	Stolen comments Found a few interesting lines while lurking through LJs....this is from almost55 "the best way is to not fight it, just go. don't be trying all the time to fix things. What you run from only stays with you longer. when you fight something, you only make it stronger. ~invisible monsters, c. palaniuk" "love sucks, trying to make the right decision in that department is the equivilant to trying to nail jello to the wall! I just want to be content/happy/and all the inbetween. Even my beloved coffee is lossing its luster, i feel so down." Thanks K :) Current Mood: I dunno... Current Music: 3 Doors Down - Here Without You (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 24th, 2005
3:57 pm	In fear that I'll be yelled at if I don't update :) Marisa's home...again! lol Current Mood: amused again... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 16th, 2005
6:09 am	correction... Matt's record on the last post was old. He just went 10-5 at drew over the weekend....yay matt. However, NJIT dropped 1-4, losing to Army, Drew, Vassar, and Yeshiva....sigh. Current Mood: yawnrific (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
11:53 pm	How tragic.... Went to NJIT today hoping for a little workout. Stopped in the fencing room to reminisce about the last few years. How things change.... As I pushed open the now closed door to the fencing room I first noticed that now apparently there is no fencing allowed without coaches present...as dictated by the two nice, big, white and red signs saying as such. As I walked further in I thought it odd that there were more baseball markings and equipment than fencing stuff in the room. And then I turned to the bulletin boards, dubbed by my team, "The Wall of Phil." Here, the only thing that's changed, seemingly, is that "the wall" has been expanded to both bulletin boards instead of just one. In retrospect I suppose it is a good thing to remember the person that single handedly triggered the downfall of the team. However, dedicating a team wall to a fencer that refused to be part of the team - even now that he's transferred to Rutgers and left the team flat(!) - is a little too far. He seems to haunt the team from the grave so to speak....but I digress. Further inspection of the room showed mirrors to be broken, the ground covered in more dirt than remembered....just all around misery I guess. Looking at the posted records I find that the person with the highest win record is maxed out at a whopping 58% - this after having been fencing for 8 years (poor matt :( ). He's actually gotten worse. Even more troubling, he's one of only two people with a winning record on the season. The room, and seemingly the team is in an utter shambles. This is what happens to a team when a name, status, and records take precedence over heart. This is what happens when the heart and soul is ripped out of a team.... How tragic... Current Mood: nostalgic Current Music: Papa Roach - Scars (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
11:22 pm	I haven't felt this way in a long long time.....I'm happy. I know why...those that know me know why. Even though i'm probably just deluding myself... I'll enjoy this feeling while it lasts. This is so rare and fragile - i would be very stupid if I didn't revel in it. "Afraid of waking Please don't shake me" Current Mood: content (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 7th, 2005
6:54 pm	Zodiac anyone? was just a lil curious so i did some research....the stuff I agree with is in bold. Compliments of http://www.datingmatchmakers.com/zodiac%2Dcompatibility/leo.aspx Symbol: The Lion (brave and regal) Lucky Day: Sunday Lucky Number: 9 and 8 Special Color: Orange and gold Flowers: Sunflower Magical Birthstone: Ruby Trees: All Citrus trees Quality: Fixed (organizers) Element: Fire (enthusiastic and active) The part of the body ruled by Leo is: The Back, spine, and heart Leo most likeable trait is: Creative Duality: Masculine (energetic, direct, and strong through actions) Ruling Planet: Sun (in astrology the sun is the most powerful planetary) Leo Traits: Generous and warmhearted Creative and enthusiastic Broad-minded and expansive Faithful and loving Pompous and patronizing Bossy and interfering Dogmatic and intolerant General Features: A typical Leo has the attributes of irrepressible playfulness, a sunny disposition, honesty, loyalty, and also spirit of self-sacrifice. You are the master of dominant, spontaneous, creative and extroverted character. Lion is king of the animal kingdom and an appropriate symbol for you who dominates your environment. Being a typical Leo, you are ambitious, courageous, strong willed, positive, independent, self-confident. You are a straightforward and uncomplicated individual who know very well what they want and pursue it with complete enthusiasm and a creative spirit. You are stubborn and will hold onto a belief or stick to a course of action through thick or thin. You are proud with an idealistic and humane nature. Basically Leos are outgoing, happy, kind and generous, self-expressive, intelligent and broad minded. Although you are outgoing, spontaneous, warm-hearted and straightforward, you are too trusting and generous to people they like and love. You are not good judges of character and are inclined to treat your close ones as perfect beings incapable of doing anything wrong. Because no one can possibly live up to this kind of expectation, you are often disappointed. You are quick tempered, blunt and nasty, and when affronted you are deeply hurt by malice or hostility. You are too sensitive to personal criticism and when your dominance is threatened, you can go into a sudden rage. Leo Male: Leo male is generally slim and athletic and reasonable proud of his prowess on the sporting field. You are tall with good posture. If you are physically incapacitated, you will swiftly move to excel in some compensatory endeavor. Being a Leo, you are extremely loyal and expect the same loyalty from your friends. You are very generous with your material wealth as well as with your love and affection. In romantic relations, you are extremely attractive to women. You are easily noticeable in a crowd and usually get a lot of attention. You can be careless at times but you are a master at covering up mistakes or anything else. Although you love and admire beautiful women but she must not outshine you in any manner. You are an extrovert, love to laugh, are generous, outgoing and love the best of everything. You have a high opinion of yourself and you want your mate to feed you ego. Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 6th, 2005
3:17 am	Left my pride in my other pair of pants..... Well, I've come to the conclusion that I've lost all semblance of ball-age when it comes to the ladies. Wtf happened? Today, not once, but twice I lost my nerve. I worked the scenarios seemingly all day The first time was at the districts championships. A blonde female director....sabre director (drool). We were having some idle conversations, throwin in the smiles here and there - going rather well. But when the end came, she had stopped directing and was actually fencing some other girl. I, in my infinite wisdom, decided, hey maybe they need a director for their bouts........so after gathering up my shreds of courage, i walked over.....but instead of offering to direct, I just watched the bouts, like a stalker as one of my fencers put it, like i always do when it comes to fencing. When I see a good fencing bout, i ,more often than not, stop to drool and learn some tricks - which is what I did here. ....UGH! Bruised ego yay.... And the second time seems to be a weekly occurance now. lol. After a really great weekend, I left her standing in the doorway. This one is simply due to my own insecurities....especially with this one. I would say that it's because of my moral values and whatever, but it's really not (a distant 3rd at best). I always get the feeling that whatever I do will either come out wrong or just plain be wrong. So I simply do nothing - even though I really really really really want to. So in reality all I'm doing is substituting one form of disappointment for another. Which is just lame. I don't want to let her down, but every time that's exactly what I do. So my solution to this predicament? I'm going to stop being so self-conscious and stop worrying about what people think. You never know what's going to happen until you try. And if I do fuck up, i'll just put it under the "live and learn" category. I refuse to continue disappointing the people I care about. Current Mood: bruised but determined (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
10:36 pm	"Because you told me tooooooooooo!" (_) I have kissed someone of the same sex. (X) I've seen a therapist. (X) I'm the youngest child. (X) I am drawn to things associated with sadness. (_) I love my gauged earrings. (_) I wear black eyeliner every day. (X) I am extremely influenced by kindness. (_) I love to write. (_) I can't live without lipgloss (X) I'm probably emotionally scarred. (I am) (_) I lived in Tahoe. (X) I spend money I don't have. (X) I'll be in college for over 4 years. (I've been) (_) I love designer handbags. (X) I've had a concussion before. (X) I'm not good with confrontation. (_) I loved the Backstreet Boys. (X) I have more than a couple horrible memories. (_) I'm addicted to Degrassi. (X) I'm spiritual but not religious. (_) My first kiss was unexpected. (_) I start school on January 4th or 5th. (X) I love taking pictures. (X) I hate girls who are fake. (_) I can be mean when I want to. (_) When I allow myself to get close to people, I get very attached. (_) I am bisexual. (_) I have way too many pairs of oes. (_) I've seen "She's All That" at least 5 times. (_) I dress how I feel that day. (_) I love Charmed. (_) Sometimes I cry for almost no reason. (X) I dislike when people are ridiculously late. (including myself) (X) I procrastinate. (X) Winter is my favorite season. (_) I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser. (X) I love to sleep. (_) I wish I was smarter. (_) I believe that it is wrong to be gay. (X) I deal with a lot of drama. (X) No one really knows me. (_) I love my hair. (X) I sometimes fight with my parents. (always) (X) I am passionate about my interests. (X) I have had the chicken pox. (X) I'm a hopeless romantic. (X) I feel empty sometimes. (X) I am/was most likely clinically depressed at a point in my life. (_) I am addicted to coffee. (_) I am very outgoing at times. (_) Christmas is my favorite holiday. (X) I can be insecure. (_) I don't notice it, but I'm told I'm very soft spoken. (X) I dislike ignorant people. (_) I love my laptop. (X) I love chicks that play the guitar. (_) I state the obvious. (X) I'm a happy person. (sometimes) (_) I'm extremely mellow. (_) I contemplate suicide. (X) I hate cleaning my room. (X) I tend to get jealous. (XXXXXXXXXX) I love to play video games. (_) I like Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. (X) I get more upset when I see an animal hurt than a person. (_) I'm a vegetarian/vegan. (X) I don't like to study for tests. (X) I am too forgiving. (X) I have a good sense of direction. (_) I love school. (_) I've played a musical instrument for more than 5 years. (X) I tend to feel inadequate. (_) I love to kiss females on the forehead. (X) I love Invader Zim. (X) I don't sew. (X) I am not addicted to drugs. (_) I wear contacts. (X) President Bush is a complete and utter moron. (_) I become stressed easily. (_) I don't take critism well. (X) Conformity is stupid. (X) Keira Knightley is one of the sexiest women alive. (X) So is Slurms Mackenzie. (lol) (_) I love my family. (_) I don't mind getting shots. (_) I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain things. (_) I always wanted to learn to play the drums. (X) I can be too hard on myself. (X) I'm probably going to have/have had premarital sex. (_) I don't like my nose. (_) I am very religious. (X) I still act like a little kid. (_) I am ridiculously indecisive. (_) I believe that Hitler has, before, reincarnated as a small boy who got hit by an ice-cream truck after telling a black woman that she is filthy and to beware. (uhm...wtf?) (X) I love music. (_) I'm in love. (i dont know anymore) (X) I have problems letting go of people. (X) I tend to think with my heart more then my head. (_) I don't really like ice cream. Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
4:02 am	Obsess much? Absolutely :) Now obviously some won't apply....something me wearing eyeliner just doesn't seem appealing...... You know you’re an evanescence fan when… You have heard every “Fallen” song straight from the CD, off internet radio, streaming from the website, copied onto your computer, and off of billions of burned CD’s you have made, all bearing the same songs (plus the demos!). You daydream about meeting them all the time (more than once a day). You have been to one of their concerts and already have tickets to go to another. You get bored in class so you start writing their lyrics in the corners of your notebooks, on scratch paper, and mouth the words in perfect time with the music as you write them down (getting a lot of funny looks ). You have given Meatloaf a chance even though you didn’t like him that much before. You try Amy-esque eyeliner because you want to look as cool as she does (and fail! *points to self*). Every time you talk to people about your tastes in music, you file Ev under “real music.” Every music playlist on your computer begins with “Bring Me To Life” or “Haunted.” You are listening to “Evanescence radio” as you read this (if you don’t know what this means then walk away now). Either that or you attempted to listen to it but it skipped so much with your crappy dial-up connection that you are now listening to “Missing” and singing along Your entire computer is filled with so many pictures, wallpapers, your own miserable attempt at wallpapers (they never come out as good as the ones online…), copied lyrics, scanned mag articles, mp3s of demos, both formats of their videos, any video you could find on kazaa set to their music, your own video creations set to their music, live performances, and interviews of amy, ben, rocky, will, and/or john to the point that your mom has told you “put it on cds or delete them.” You know whom Amy is going out with. You KNOW and always have known there is more to Ev than Going Under and BMTL. You know Amy and Ben’s favorite composer. You knew the “my immortal” single was a band version and listened to it 50 times before it hit your radio station. You have about every version of every song on Fallen (including the crappy remixes just b/c they’re ev) YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL EVANESCENCE You have more than one mp3 that says “Evan’s Essence” and have corrected them accordingly You have tried listening to Bjork even though you used to think she was kinda freaky (and you still do) You seek out female-fronted bands on the Internet and only stick with them if their lyrics somewhat resemble Evanescence’s style You feel like “Bring Me to Life” is about your relationship with Evanescence You know Ben Moody’s favorite genre of movies You have had your share of sore throats trying with all your might to sing as high as Amy You know Amy has a much better butt than the girl who fell in BMTL The word “evanescence” has been permanently implanted into your vocabulary, and you take pride in using it in its various forms (ie evanescent, evanesce, evanesced, evanescing, evanesces…) You have explained the meaning of “Evanescence” or the Evanescence symbol on your shirts/jackets/pants/patches/buttons/hands/etc to more than 3 people You know who Living Sacrifice is and why they are important to Evanescence You know who Cold is and why they are important to Evanescence You will laugh (or at least know what I’m talking about) when I say “baby one more time” (if not, it’s alright…it took me a while to find out about this, too) You get excited when you hear somebody talked about Amy Lee/Evanescence in another class as if they were talking about you You visit bringmetolife.com, onlyevanescence.com, and evanescencewebsite.com, etc. regularly at least 3 times a week to check for new videos/mp3s/news You think the official site sucks (major poo…) You have every demo they have ever made (and all the versions of those) You take great pride in someone saying you look like Amy You do regular image searches to make sure you haven’t missed one You have your own Evanescence website or section dedicated to them (or they’re so embedded into your page you can’t tell if its yours or theirs) You downloaded the “Broken” video and song before it hit the mainstream sites as streaming If you make music videos (Harry Potter, LotR, etc) you’ve made half of the Fallen album (or more!) to them You have personally converted a handful of people to the ways of the Ev Your favorite pastime is driving around with your friends blaring…yup, you guessed it You read “You know you’re an Evanescence fan when…” articles for an ego boost More than once you have turned on Evanescence and felt like you were breathing again If you’re not listening to Evanescence right now, you feel like you should be You know Evanescence’s newest single even though you haven’t heard it on the radio yet (you think I’m talkin bout “My Immortal,” dontcha? ) If you haven’t done something on here, you plan to! Current Mood: amused (1 Comment |Comment on this)